


Somethin' Stupid

by can_i_slytherin



Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Diego Hargreeves Needs A Hug, M/M, Pseudo-Incest, Song Lyrics
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-17
Updated: 2019-03-17
Packaged: 2019-11-21 20:06:36
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,260
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18146834
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/can_i_slytherin/pseuds/can_i_slytherin
Summary: A kind-of-but-not-really song fic based on Frank Sinatra's "Somethin' Stupid".





	Somethin' Stupid

_I know I stand in line until you think you have the time..._

Diego knew that Klaus had friends outside of the academy and he knew all too well that "friends" was a very loose term, a more accurate one may have been "clients"- or so Klaus says, but Diego prefers to call them fuck-buddies. 

The word "client" implies getting paid and not once had Diego seen Klaus with any dollar bills. 

It frustrated Diego to think that Klaus was getting pleasure from someone that wasn't him. It pissed him off even more knowing that Klaus would sneak off at all hours of the night and not return until the following day. But, out of everything, the thing that most annoyed Diego was that he couldn't sleep until he heard the telltale signs of Klaus sneaking back in through his window; despite all of Klaus' shit, Diego still worried. 

_To spend an evening with me..._

Diego treasured the few times that he was able to spend the evening with his brother. It was very rare that both he and Klaus had free evenings and it was even rarer that they got to spend those evenings alone; they were always joined by one sibling or another and it never failed to ruin their plans. 

So, when Klaus intercepted him in the hallway, grabbed his hand and pulled him towards the door, Diego couldn't stop the smile that spread across his face. 

"We've got to be quick, before the others notice." Klaus whispered and slipped out of the door, Diego hot on his heels. 

It was August, so the daylight still stretched on into the late hours of the evening and they weren't quite hidden by the darkness of night but that didn't seem to bother Klaus as he slipped his hand into Diego's, interlocking their fingers. 

They walked down the sidewalk, hands swigging between them, and relished in each others' company; the silence between them was not awkward but comfortable. 

"This is nice." Klaus whispered, staring up at the darkening sky. 

"What?" Diego asked, his heart fluttering as Klaus' turned those bright green orbs on him. 

The séance stopped in the middle of the street and took a step closer to Diego, " _This."_ Klaus motioned between them and Diego's heart leapt into his throat. 

The knife-slinger mentally chastised himself for being so gullible:  _He doesn't meant it. You're just a fill-in until he finds his next victim. Don't get attached._

Diego jumped when Klaus placed a gentle hand on his cheek, ripping himself from his thoughts. 

"You okay?" Klaus asked, his voice laced with concern. 

Diego startled, suddenly aware of the stinging in his eyes, and quickly blinked away the tears before they had the chance to fall. 

"Fuh-fuh-fine." Diego stammered, cursing himself for being so weak around Number Four. 

Klaus narrowed his eyes in disbelief before he shrugged, choosing not to push the subject. Klaus threw Diego a grin and tugged on his hand before they continued to walk through the city. 

They walked aimlessly for a while before Klaus' stomach growled loudly and, with a shared laugh, they took a detour to the local burger bar. 

Klaus ordered a double cheeseburger with bacon whilst Diego just stuck with a bag of chips. They took their food and left the restaurant, crossing the road to enter the public park. 

They wandered through the trees and dropped themselves onto the grass, digging into their not-quite dinner. Klaus practically inhaled his burger whilst Diego ate his chips in a calmer and more reserved manner. 

Diego yelled indignantly and slapped Klaus' hand away when the séance tried- and succeeded- to steal a chip. Klaus shoved the fry into his mouth and chewed quickly so that Diego couldn't steal it back. 

"You're disgusting." Diego observed, pointing a chip at him accusingly. 

Klaus plucked the fry from his fingers and placed it delicately in his mouth, "I'm a delight." 

Diego rolled his eyes but couldn't hide the fond smile that played on his lips. For those few glorious moments, Diego felt like he and Klaus could be something more but a dark part of him pointed out that, after the evening was done, Klaus would sneak out of his window and seek out pleasure from a nameless guy before returning to his room at an ungodly hour. 

He would never have the confidence to approach as brother and voice his feelings so Diego would have to wait in line until he became the object of Klaus' attention once more.

_And if we go someplace to dance, I know that there's a chance..._

Klaus dropped himself onto Diego's bed and stared at the knife-slinger through the mirror. 

"We should go dancing." Klaus proposed, pushing himself up onto his elbows. His top rode up slightly and a slither of pale skin peeked out from underneath the fabric. Diego had to tear his gaze away when the obscene thoughts began to creep into his brain. 

"Why?" Diego asked, eyebrow raised in question as he turned to face Klaus. 

"I'm bored?" Klaus posed, considering it a worthy answer. 

Diego shrugged in response, wondering what harm could come from this, and nodded, "Okay." 

If Diego had known that Klaus' eyes would have lit up in the way they did, then Diego would have suggested that they do this sooner. He loved the undisguised look of glee in Klaus' eyes and loved even more that he had been the cause of it. 

"Great!" Klaus yelled and sprang to his feet, "Get on your dancing shoes and meet me at the front door in 10 minutes!" Klaus disappeared from the room yelling, "We're going dancing, baby!" as he did. 

As per Klaus' request, Diego put on his "dancing shoes" (a pair of tattered black Converse) and met Number Four at the door- exactly 10 minutes after their conversation had finished. 

Klaus drank in Diego's outfit- tight black jeans and a blood-red shirt, accompanied by a black leather jacket- and grinned wolfishly. 

"You look good, Di." Klaus commented, his eyes dark and glazed over. 

Diego unabashedly checked out Klaus- a leather mini skirt clung to his fishnet-clad legs and a silky black kimono draped over his shoulders. His eyes were rimmed with dark eyeliner, but his lips were lined with bright red gloss, making him seem paler than he actually was. Number Two practically choked on his tongue and all the blood seemed to rush in a southward direction. Klaus looked utterly delectable. 

"Could say the same about you." Diego practically growled, his voice deeper with arousal. 

"Good! Let's get going, huh?" Klaus questioned and disappeared out the front door, Diego following him. 

They climbed into the knife-slinger's car and drove to the nearest club- a small place named _Electricity._

Klaus tumbled out of the passenger side and leant against the bonnet of the car, waiting for Diego to switch off the engine and join him. 

"Ready?" Diego questioned, appearing at Klaus' side suddenly. He held his arm out for Klaus and grinned when the séance linked his arm with Diego's own. 

"Hell yeah." Klaus breathed, the thrum of the bass attracted him like a magnet. 

He and Diego stalked towards the club, arm-in-arm and grinmed as the bouncer push the door open upon their arrival. One of the many benefits of being a famous superhero was that they could enter clubs without being asked for an ID- their star status being enough to gain them entry to the most and least well-known establishments. 

Upon entry into the club, Klaus immediately pulled Diego on to the dance floor and began to sway to the beat of the music. 

The way Klaus looked at him, like he was the only person in the room, stripped away any worry that he had and soon he was dancing too. The beat of the music, accompanied by Klaus' grin made Diego feel as if he was riding the ultimate high. A part of him wondered if Klaus felt the same and the realisation that he didn't hit him like a freight train and stole the air from the lungs. A cloud of sadness settled over his mind and blinded him to the reality of the situation: Klaus was stepping towards him, pressing his body flush against Diego's and steadily grinding against him. 

Klaus leant down to Diego's ear and gently nibbled on his earlobe, "Come on, Di, let go. Enjoy yourself." 

The way that Klaus whispered his childhood nickname made a spike of white-hot arousal spread through his veins. It boiled his blood and powered him to grasp Klaus' hips, he pulled Number Four closer and ground against his warm, willing body.

"This skirt," Diego growled in his ear and slipped ahand underneath the fabric, "drives me crazy, Klaus." 

"I know," Klaus whispered back, "that's why I wore it."

Diego recoiled in shock and stared at Klaus in disbelief.

"Come on, Di." Klaus laughed, the sound angelic and pure, "You don't think that I haven't noticed the way you look at me. You get that sorrowful, longing look in your eyes every time we're together. It's like you're looking at something that you can't have." 

Diego sighed and rubbed his eyes, "I can't."

"But you can." Klaus urged, "You can have me." 

"I want you." Diego whispered, eyes closed and forehead resting on Klaus', "So bad." 

"So, take me." Klaus was careful not to break the air of confidence they had settled around Diego, "I'm right here."

Diego growled and surged forward, capturing Klaus' lips in a searing kiss. Klaus nibbled on his bottom lip and pushed his tongue into Diego's mouth, moaning when the knife-slinger sucked on the muscle. They stayed like that for a few moments, clutching each other, pressed together from head to toe and kissing as if the other was their only source of oxygen. 

Diego pulled away, chest heaving and breath escape him in short, heavy puffs. He rested his forehead against Klaus' and felt higher than a kite; the feeling of glee that spread throughout his body made him feel tingly and unstoppable. Klaus have decided that kissing Diego gave him a kick that was better than any drug he had ever taken. 

Maybe Diego had more of a chance and he originally thought. 

_You won't be leaving with me..._

Diego has gotten his hopes up again. He had thought that their kiss at the club had meant something and maybe it had, but it only meant something to him because that same night, Klaus had slipped away from him and disappeared out the back door with some sleazebag. 

Diego tried not to let it show that he was hurting and if he drove to the edge of the city, stood on the edge of a cliff and screamed until his throat hurt then nobody needed to know. Diego stayed there, on his knees, for hours and cried until his eyes hurt and his entire body felt numb. 

"How could I be so stupid?" He asked, looking up at the star-filled sky, "He'd never want me." 

_And afterwards we drop into a quiet little place and have a drink or two..._

Diego stood, both mind and body floating in a beautiful numbness, and trudged back to the car, sliding into the driver's seat. His hands gripped the steering wheel and he planned a destination in his head. 

_1\. Go to the convenience store._

_2\. Buy a shit-ton of alcohol._

_3\. Go home._

_4\. Lock yourself in your room._

_5\. Drown yourself in said alcohol._

Diego repeated his plan in his head until he had made it to the safety of his bedroom. The plastic bag filled with whiskey and vodka, amongst other things, felt heavy and he dumped it on the bed before shucking off his clothes from that night. 

Diego cracked the first bottle open and brought it to his lips, chugging back a quarter of the bottle with his first swig. The alcohol burnt his throat as it slipped down into his stomach and he welcomed the pain with open arms. Physical pain always overpowered the unbearable sting of heartbreak. 

By the time Diego had finished his fourth, and final, bottle of alcohol he was well and truly drunk. He felt the best kind of tingly and the worst kind of drunk. He should've known that his dark and dreary mood would have followed him into his alcohol-induced haze. 

Diego's fingers twitched and, before he had time to process his actions, he threw the now-empty bottle at the wall, relishing in the loud smash that resounded through his too-quiet room. He fell back onto his bed and pulled a pillow over his face, screaming into the fabric. His screams soon dissolved into sobs and tears poured down his cheeks, soaking into the pillow pressed against his face. 

He was angry at himself for allowing himself to fall for Klaus and for being too weak, and for letting the not-so-little bastard get under his skin. But, he was upset too, mostly because he had let himself believe that Klaus would want him and he was, yet again, heartbroken when Number Four had ditched him. He had cast Diego aside as if he was nothing more than a cheap and easy fix until he could find a better one and it hurt. It hurt so much that Klaus would never love him in the way that Diego loved him. 

Diego cried himself to sleep that night and he barely registered when a blanket was pulled over him by a small, humanoid monkey. 

_And then I go and spoil it all by saying something stupid like "I love you"..._

Diego had successfully avoided Klaus for four days and he would have continued to do so if it wasn't for Allison's incessant pleas for him to join their Weekly Family Game Night. She had promised him, upon his agreement to join, that if he felt too uncomfortable at any point then he could leave; Diego was going to be sure that she stayed true to that promise. 

He entered the living room, Allison by his side, and immediately went rigid upon noticing that Klaus was sprawled across one of the couches, looking just as breath-taking as he did the last time that Diego saw him. 

Klaus sat up straight, staring incredulously at Diego as he entered the room and lowered himself onto the floor in front of the coffee table. 

"I didn't think you'd come." Klaus whispered, picking at his nails as the tension in the room grew considerably. 

"I almost didn't." Diego growled, doing his best to avoid making eye-contact with Klaus. 

"What's your issue?" Klaus spat, anger bubbling deep within his stomach as he stood up, towering over Diego. 

Diego's eyes snapped up to meet Klaus' gaze and his mouth hung open in disbelief, "Are you being serious?" 

Klaus narrowed his eyes challengingly and crossed his arms over his chest, "Deadly." 

"FINE!" Diego roared and sprang to his feet, hands clenched into fists at his side, "My  _issue_ is that you're an asshole and a tease! You fuck with my emotions, lead me on and then piss off with some dirtbag. You'll sleep with every Tom, Dick and Harry on the block but you'll leave me with nothing!" 

"Why does it matter?! It's not like we're together, we kissed  _once."_ Klaus hissed. 

"BECAUSE I LOVE YOU!" Diego screamed. He was shaking and tears tumbled down his cheeks. He had never felt as vulnerable as he did in that moment. 

The entire Hargreeves family, including Grace and Pogo, gasped loudly. But, none were as surprised as Klaus. 

"What?" Klaus whispered. He was shocked and at a loss for words. 

"Because I love you..." Diego repeated, softer this time, "That kiss meant everything to me. It was electrifying and I'd never felt so alive. I felt like I was riding the highest of highs; it was euphoric and I know that you felt the same. But, you left me. Why'd you leave? Am I not good enough?" 

Klaus let out a pained, strangled noise and stepped up and over the table to stand in front of Diego. He took Diego's hands in his own and rubbed gentle circles into the skin. 

Diego tore his hands away and backed away from Klaus, eyes darting to the door as he decided whether he could make a run for it. 

"I'm sorry..." Diego whispered and ran for the door. 

"Diego!" Klaus yelled and ran after him. 

The séance chased after his not-quite brother, calling out for him, and quickly caught up with him, his long legs working to his advantage for once. "Diego! STOP!" Klaus grabbed his wrist, pulling him to a stop and turning Diego towards him, "Just stop for a minute. Let me talk." He wheezed, out of breath. 

"Why? So you can tell me that I've ruined everything? Tell me that you don't love me?!" Diego yelled, tears pouring down his cheeks. 

Klaus cupped his cheeks and wiped his tears away with the pad of his thumb, "Just shut up and listen, okay?" Number Four waited for Diego's nod before he continued, "Diego, I've been so scared this past month. I've seen that longing look in your eyes when you see me, I've noticed how gentle you are with me in comparison to our other siblings. I've seen the tenderness in your eyes and felt it in your touch. The way that you treat me like I'm a fine piece of art scares me because its already so much more than I deserve. You spoil me with gifts- whether its new make-up or something entirely different. I've never had someone treat me that way before and it scares me. I'm so used to being treated like worthless scum, so that night at the club, when you kissed me so intimately and like I was everything that you needed, I was overwhelmed. I took the coward's way out and ran away but I hurt you and I never wanted to hurt you. You're so good to me, Di. You deserve so much better than me, you're so pure and good. So perfect. So beautiful, and kind, and loving. There are so many words that I could use to describe you and not a single one is bad." 

"I want you." Diego breathed, "And only you. You're  _it_ for me, Klaus. To me, you're perfect. You're worth the world and you deserve the best treats and you deserve to be treated like an angel because you are exactly that. You are  _my_ beautiful angel, Klaus. So pretty and pure and you need to be protected and looked after, Let me be that guy. Let me be  _your_ guy." 

Number Four nodded gently, dumbstruck by Diego's speech, "This is going to be tough and it's gonna take a lot of effort. We need to work for this, okay? Both of us. If you really want this..." 

"I do." Diego muttered, leaning into Klaus' gentle touch. 

"I do too." The séance smiled and pressed a kiss against the tip of Diego's nose. 

"Then, what are we waiting for?" Diego whispered and wrapped his arms around Klaus' waist, burying his face in Klaus' curls. Klaus grinned and wrapped his arms around Number Two's shoulders, burying his face in Diego's neck. 

They had waited too long for this to happen, but they were determined to take things one step at a time- being careful not to do something stupid and wreck what they had worked so hard to achieve. 


End file.
